"Well, you could use it for that..."

My Facebook feed has erupted in morbid glee as a jury of my peers react to claims that the Prime Minister has put his meat into a dead pig's head. 

The claims have been made by a creepy billionaire who's paid a journalist a ton of money to write the book with him and never work again. All this because he wasn't invited into Cameron's tree house at the last election. 

I'm not a fan of how everyone is frothing at the gills with joy about this. I get that DC is bad news but the accusations have no basis and come from a really suspect source. Plus, I'm pretty sure that exactly the same people who're going nuts about this have been aghast with how Jeremy Corbyn has been mistreated in the media recently.    

Do I think he rested his John Thomas on a farmyard animal's dead tongue? Yes, it was the 1980's and to add a further dollop to the scandal, a follow up report suggests the pig was on an unpaid internship.