Showbiz

Bethnal Green WMC - the epicentre of Hipster Irony

Bethnal Green WMC - the epicentre of Hipster Irony

Just because you put the word 'show' in front of 'business' doesn't mean there's any less cut or thrust than the corporate world. Comedians are service providers, commercialising scribbles on Post-It notes which traditionally would have landed them with a lobotomy but now can earn you enough currency to get your old school bully to take a bit of knotted rope to their back. That's a stuffed envelope not to be sniffed at.

 As a person living as a brand, you've got to consider every piece of your output including social media, stage performances and even how you act in conversations. If you've got the knack for oration there's a wealth of commercial opportunities open to you including product placement and private hire for corporate events and miscellaneous one offs (I was paid handsomely once to act as a 'honey pot' in the lobby of a Hotel Ramada). 

That said, in order to unlock these lucrative opportunities you need to be pulling serious water. When they put your name on a poster it need to put bums on seats otherwise nobody will give two hoots if you're tucking into a delicious kebab from Woody Grill, Finsbury Park. We've all got shareholders to appease and when the chips are down they'll start asking questions like "why don't you throw in a few crowd-pleasers? Would a 'thanks dad' kill you? Looking at these figures I don't think we've got much of a choice". You could always build a pyrotechnic display into the act by nailing a Catherine wheel into a bit of spare shoulder meat.

As the bookings dry up, they'll come at you harder and critique your lack of enunciation and challenge the use of the moths as a brand asset. Eventually, they'll file for administration and strip your assets, selling what they can off to acts working the student circuit or take that Timeskip bit to fluff out some Latitude book club and  leave only bone and gristle which will be ground down, mixed with silica gel and pumped into a Stretch Armstrong assembly line.