"Chip pan fires, top loading VCR players and holidays in Filey"

I got my ID checked at J. Sainsbury's.

If you're reading this from from a far away land, they're a UK based supermarket chain that recently looked at the eviscerated carnage of World War 1 and thought that would be a pretty neat way of selling little, festive Jack Daniel's gift packs - ideal for that dickhead cousin, or as a Secret Santa for the colleague who insists in Battleshipping every idea, just to show they can.

Born in the long, bitter January of 1984, looking into my eyes will take you to a time of chip pan fires, top-loading VCR players and holidays in Filey (big up the Brig). That said, I do have a certain youthful energy that means if I put on the Oculus Rift it wouldn't look silly. 

Epilogue. Went up the road and bought some Speckled Hen from a smaller Sainsbury's. Because that's how I do, son.