"We need your help!" cried the manager of a London-based Italian restaurant. I've known the client for a few years; he's a 125ml measure of a man who struts around the place with a practiced confidence of someone who's been living with a built up shoe. But you can't afford to turn work, not in this recession.
I came up with 3 alternative routes for them but would only tell them the first word until he produced the envelope.
- 'Last Wish Foundation' - once receiving the balloon the child will get extra special treatment for the day and probably a free trolley dash around Hamleys.
- 'Attach 3 of me to your house and it will be like Up' - Note, the fat Boy Scout is not included.
- 'Extinguish Your Cigarette Here' - admittedly, a left-field approach. Mainly put this in to as a technique to drive him into the other routes.
Right now, as I type this I'm tucking into garlic bread and meatballs and for the rest of my life I'll never pay for them again. If a meteor hits London and destroys it but I survive then I don't know where we'd be then but guessing my priorities would change radically in that situation. Horse riding would probably top that list.
What the Client Said
"Here's your money and there is the door"